Court Wedding: Of Vows and Dreams

So.. I got married!

When I first told my German friends that I was getting married, they exclaimed “Oh! We’ll finally get to attend a big fat Indian wedding”. “Tough luck!”, I replied. “1.4 billion Indians in the world and you guys befriend the one who wants an intimate court wedding”.

I know, wanting a low-key, civil wedding is pretty rare these days. But you know what’s rarer? Having a partner—and two sets of parents—who feel the same way.

Over six years ago, a casual conversation in our hostel canteen turned to the topic of big fat Indian weddings and the booming wedding industry in India. My friend and I laughed and said, “Just sign and get it over with.” In a few days, that friend became my best friend. In a few months, my partner. Six years later, we both “just signed and got it over with”.

Even though we live on different continents and occasionally travel the world together, we got married just 2 km from where our journey as partners began. It’s a small world, after all.

How do I sum up our wedding day? If that day doesn’t end up as one of the happiest in my life, then I’ve got a wonderfully joyful life ahead!

Don’t get me wrong. The process was far from easy! Planning our wedding meant navigating the bureaucratic maze of a court wedding. Since not many people choose this route, we had to dig deep to figure out what our big day would actually look like. As someone who loves planning every little detail, I was in my comfort zone. The preparations began a year in advance and went on right up until the last moment.

The type of wedding we opted for required us to give an online public notice of our intent to marry. Then we got to pick a date for the ceremony. It was oddly satisfying to have this control, and we chose our sixth anniversary as the perfect day to get married. After plenty of online form-filling and administrative hurdles, we finally secured the date we wanted. But given all the bureaucracy we’ve faced over the years with travel and visas, we were determined to make sure everything went off without a hitch. So, a week before the wedding, we visited the Marriage Office for a dry run of our big day. It reminded me of my Engineering days—how my code would run perfectly during the dry runs but would crash during the actual exam. I hoped this wouldn’t be one of those situations because, let’s face it, our wedding day was far more important than a practical exam :D The visit was very useful, as it helped us predict the starting time of the actual process depending on the number of weddings that day. Thankfully, not many couples had chosen the date we had chosen, and we hoped for a seamless experience.

When the day arrived, Mumbai went above and beyond to make sure it was a memorable one. Thanks to our earlier visit, we recognized everyone at the Marriage Office. The weather, which should have been hot and humid even in winter, was surprisingly comfortable. Instead of splurging on a designer lehenga that would have ended up gathering dust in my closet and leaving me uncomfortable all day, I chose to wear my mum’s wedding saree. It added a beautiful, antique touch to our day.

We get why a government office wedding, with no air conditioning and a barely clean washroom, might not appeal to everyone. But for us, it was perfect. There was something authentic and charming about getting married in the presence of just eight people. Standing there, exchanging vows we’ve kept in our hearts since the day we met, felt right. It wasn’t a picture-perfect Instagram wedding, but tying the knot in an old office building in South Bombay was as close to our dream as it could get. A few formalities, one signature, and a handful of vows later, my partner was officially my “husband”.

Since we are both residents of Mumbai, we got our wedding solemnized in Mumbai. Here’s a detailed breakdown of the steps we followed¹:

Online process:

1. Registration

Begin by registering online here. Follow the steps in this user manual to create a new application for marriage registration. You’ll need details and documents for the bride, groom, and three witnesses. Both the bride and groom must complete an e-KYC verification, which can be done using biometrics or OTP (possible only if your mobile number is linked to your Aadhaar card).

2. Submit the Application

Once the application is submitted, an online notice is generated expressing the couple’s intent to get married.

3. Wait for Approval

It takes about a week for this notice to be accepted, and its status can be tracked through the dashboard.

4. Choose a Date

After approval, you can select a date for your marriage solemnization, but it must be at least 30 days after submitting the notice. For instance, we submitted our notice on October 11, 2024, and it was accepted on October 16, 2024. This allowed us to pick a date between November 10, 2024, and January 9, 2025.

5. Notice Period

The notice is displayed publicly on the marriage notice dashboard for a 30-day objection period. In some cases, like ours, it might not appear on the dashboard—but trust the process.

Offline process:

1. Visit the Marriage Office Early

On the day of solemnization, reach the Marriage Office by 10 am to get your documents (bride, groom, and witnesses) verified promptly.

2. Document Verification

Ensure that all documents (originals, and self-attested photocopies) are thoroughly checked and verified by the office staff.

3. Email Signatures

Email the signatures of the bride, groom, and three witnesses to the Marriage Office. Make sure the file size doesn’t exceed 50 kB (JPG format) and that the signatures are in blue ink. Follow the instructions to the letter and spirit even if it means sending an email to an address that has a spelling mistake in it!

4. Biometric Verification

Submit biometric fingerprints after verifying the emailed signatures. While I avoided applying henna on my fingertips, the officer assured me it wouldn’t interfere with the process.

5. Certificate Details Verification

The couple confirms the details in the marriage certificate draft.

6. The Wedding

The Marriage Officer conducts the wedding ceremony, during which the couple and witnesses sign the marriage register. The couple exchanges vows, and is officially declared married by the Marriage Officer. The wedding ceremony took us just 10 minutes. Note: Professional wedding photography is allowed in some offices, but it’s best to confirm in advance.

7. Collect the Marriage Certificate

After a week, we returned to the office to collect our marriage certificate. While some who hire agents or advocates might get their certificates sooner (or even immediately), we went the DIY route and received ours after seven days.